facebook pixel

Choosing Independence – Is Divorce Right For Me?

Woman choosing independence from divorceThe fireworks are flying. It is loud and heating up. No, this isn’t a Fourth of July celebration. It’s your home and you are fighting with your spouse. Again. Maybe you have finally decided you have had enough. If you are considering choosing your independence and wanting to take steps to separate, you may be wondering, ”Is Divorce right for me?” Many people – whether they ultimately choose to divorce – still choose to meet with a family law attorney to learn about their rights, responsibilities, and any crucial next steps.

If you choose to meet with a Family Law attorney about your future, then make the most of that informative time by preparing as follows:

1.Write Your Questions. Take the time to write your questions down before you arrive at the meeting. Often times, once a meeting with an attorney gets underway, clients can feel a little overwhelmed and it may be hard to remember everything they planned to ask. By bringing a well thought out list, you and your attorney can cover as much as possible.

2.Balance Sheet. Bring an up to date list of assets and liabilities, if you can. While there may not always be enough time in that initial consultation to go over everything in detail, having a general outline of the financial situation will help move the process along and allow for deeper discussion.

3.Paint a Picture. Bring applicable information so you may paint a picture of your specific circumstances. While you may not have time to go over every email or text between the two of you, you can bring a few to share with your attorney. A picture is worth a thousand words and electronic communications and photographs can be the same way. Do you believe you have proof of adultery? Bring in some of the evidence. Are you alleging your spouse was verbally abusive? Show your attorney examples. Believe it or not, an experienced Family Law attorney can look at a few examples and get the overall idea in your initial consultation.

4.Take Notes. In your initial consultation, your attorney will try to give you as much information as you can reasonably process in that amount of time. Don’t leave yourself wondering- “what did they call temporary support?” “how many days do I have to respond to the complaint?” To make the best use of that, write down as much as you can so that you can review the notes later when you are at home, alone, and can process things a little better. Identify a place for safe keeping for all notes, evidence and documentation you may collect along the way.

5.Be Open. Perhaps most importantly, be open to hearing what your attorney has to say. Making the decision to separate or divorce can be a difficult one. You will likely be relieved by some of the feedback, but meeting with an experienced family law attorney should also raise awareness of issues you may not have previously considered. Understand that your attorney is trying to place the facts of your situation in the context of the law to best assess the strengths and weaknesses of your case. The guidance you receive will ultimately help you make the best decision for yourself, and your family, moving forward.

If you follow the above steps, before you know it, you will have the first meeting under your belt. You should now be feeling educated and empowered about choosing independence, and choosing if divorce is right for you. If you are considering separation or divorce contact Sodoma Law by phone 704.442.0000 or fill out the from to talk with an attorney and set up your initial consultation.



Typical pitfalls of social media as it relates to a custody case involve making nasty comments about…
A common effort made to save money in equitable distribution cases could actually…
January: Annually, this month shows a marked increase in the number of people seeking…

Share this article

PL
Written by

Penelope L. Hefner

Principal and Managing Attorney

“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world…would do this, it would change the earth.” ~ William Faulkner Every day that I speak up for a client, every day that I teach parents how to better co-parent, every day that I convince the other side to do the right thing, I am making a difference to a family. To William Faulkner, I am changing the world. It may not make the nightly news; but for my clients, it is everything. I have always had a strong sense of right and wrong. I appreciate that life has some areas of gray, but there are some actions that I cannot and will not accept. If my client has been physically or emotionally harmed or if children are involved and being impacted negatively by the actions of the adults in their lives, I will not be a bystander. I have to act. Whether my client is in shock, angry or simply confused, I will do everything in my power to right the wrong. I want to help. I want to be the one my client relies on for understanding and support while I educate him or her about their case and their options. I want to advocate on his or her behalf for what is best for their circumstance. And, I give my clients hope. Yes, it may get worse before it gets better, but I want them to know they are going to be alright and that life after their family law case can be just as good, if not better. It is this innate desire to protect and support that led me to consider becoming an attorney early in my academic career. After graduating from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill with degrees in English and Spanish, I moved immediately into the next phase of my life – law school. After clerking with a family law firm, I was able to see how family law worked in private practice…and I knew there was no going back. Family law was, and continues to be, my passion. When I meet with clients, they are not just another case to me. My clients are members of families, and often times those families are hurting. Making sure my clients have a good experience with my legal team and me is critical. Every client should be involved in their case- receiving regular updates, feeling comfortable to ask any questions, and knowing we are in their corner. My leadership statement is: “I challenge others to be better.” I do that with my team and with my clients. Not only am I there to provide support and empathy to my client, but I am also there to give sound advice and even constructive criticism. Everything I do and say is with the intention and goal of being that voice of honesty, truth and compassion. Together, my clients and I can change the world (or at least a pretty special piece of it)!

Practice Areas

Talk to a real attorney, not a call center.

When you call Sodoma Law, you speak directly with a family law attorney, not an intake screener. The first conversation is always confidential.