If you are anything like me – born and raised in a state with no professional sports and destined to be an Auburn or Alabama fan from birth – you’ve been looking forward to the start of college football all year.
It’s finally here — stadiums are packed, fans are fired up, and everyone swears this is their year. And while co-parenting doesn’t come with marching bands or tailgates, it is a lot like living in a divided household during rivalry week. Just like in football, when co-parenting, you’ve got to play the long game, follow the playbook, and avoid unnecessary penalties.
Divorce or separation may have ended the “team” you built as partners, but one thing hasn’t changed: you’re still parents. The relationship with your ex may be over, but the relationship with your children continues — season after season.
Let’s be real: being petty can feel good in the moment. A snarky text, a late pickup, or “accidentally” forgetting to send the away game jersey — it’s like trash talk at the fifty-yard line. But here’s the problem: petty plays don’t move the ball down the field. Judges don’t hand out trophies for nitpicking or squabbling. In fact, they may see it as a delay of game.
The Winning Playbook
• Transparency. Share schedules, school info, and medical updates without hiding the playbook.
• Cooperation. Parenting is offense, not defense. The goal is to move your child forward, not tackle each other.
• Consistency. Stick to the custody plan like you’d stick to the snap count. Reliability wins games.
Don’t Be That Fan
• The one who storms the field after a bad call → the parent who files a motion over a five-minute delay at pickup.
• The one who screams at the refs every play → the parent who sends hostile texts over every minor misstep.
• The one who leaves at halftime when their team is down → the parent who checks out because co-parenting isn’t going their way.
What Gets You Benched
• Nit-picking squabbles. (“They were two minutes late!”) Not worth the flag.
• Scorekeeping. Children, and all that comes with them, aren’t touchdowns.
• Weaponized communication. Every text or email is subject to instant replay in front of a judge. Write accordingly.
Bottom Line
The team is set, and we cannot swap your co-parent for a trick play in the final quarter. But I can tell you this: parenting after separation isn’t about “winning.” Petty behavior may feel like a quick touchdown dance, but it costs you and your children in the long run.
So next time you feel the urge to go petty, ask yourself: Am I moving the ball down the field for my child, or just trying to sack my co-parent?
Because in the big game of parenting, there’s only one scoreboard that matters: your child’s well-being. And there’s no room for petty in that playbook.
