By: Attorney Annelisse Velazquez-Fernandez
Every family law case is different, but after helping countless families through divorce, custody disputes, support matters, and other domestic issues, our team has noticed something: there are a few things we wish every client knew before their case even started. What follows is not necessarily legal advice – it is the kind of honest guidance our team wishes they could give every client on day one.
We asked members of our Sodoma Law Raleigh team one simple question: “What is one thing you wish every client knew before their family law case began?”
Here is what they had to say.
Hailey N. Amico, Managing Attorney:
Communication with your co-parent is important. Remember that anything you say can, and sometimes will, be brought into your case, so always communicate respectfully. Your co-parent is not the enemy. It is natural for emotions to run high during a family law matter, but respectful communication often leads to better outcomes.
Annelisse Velázquez Fernández, Attorney:
People often begin a family law case wanting to “win.” But long after the court hearings are over and the final order has been entered, you will still have to live with the outcome. There is a life beyond litigation, and the decisions you make today will shape that future. Instead of focusing on defeating the other side, focus on achieving a resolution that gives you stability, protects your children, and allows you to move forward with confidence. The best family law outcome is not one that wins the battle—it is one that helps you build the life waiting for you after the case is over.
Allister Cooper, Attorney:
You have been through a lot, and your side of the story matters. But the judge is not just listening to what happened in the past, they are watching how you conduct yourself throughout the case. Your credibility, your judgment, the tone of your communications with the other party, and whether you can stay focused on what’s important often carry just as much weight as the facts themselves. Credibility is built or lost long before you take the stand in a courtroom.
Taylor J. Coleman, Attorney:
Set clear and realistic goals with your attorney, and trust their advice regarding the strategy of your case. Your attorney is on your side and is here to fight for your best interests. If they are telling you something you do not want to hear, it’s likely because it is in your best interest—not because they are fighting against you. The best attorney-client relationships are built on trust. Sometimes the legal answer is not the answer you were hoping for, but honest advice is what allows you to make informed decisions and achieve the best possible outcome.
Paola S. Quintero, Law Clerk:
One of the most important things to keep in mind during a family law case is to avoid getting caught up in the “petty game.” Not every disagreement needs to become a legal issue, and not every frustrating text, comment, or incident is worth fighting over. Focus on the issues that truly matter to your case, your children, and your long-term goals. Choosing your battles wisely can save time, reduce conflict, and help keep the case focused on what is actually important.
Shalonda G. Arnold, Paralegal:
When you’re working with your legal team, remember this: We are on your side! Our job is to protect you, guide you through the process, and achieve the best possible outcome. So, when we make requests for certain financial documentation give us everything you have! The more we know, the better we can prepare, advise, and advocate for you. Our preparedness is one of the strongest tools in building your case strategy.
Lauryn O. Silver, Legal Assistant:
When we say we are going to take care of you, we mean it. Walking into a family law office can be overwhelming. Many clients come to us during one of the most difficult times of their lives. Our goal is not just to handle paperwork or court dates, it is to guide you through the process with compassion, answer your questions, and make sure you never feel like you are facing it alone.
Laura Quiñones Perez, Legal Assistant:
In custody matters, the court’s primary focus is the best interests of the child. Keep that standard in mind when sending us texts, emails, photos, recordings, or other evidence to review. Our team will sort through the information and determine what is relevant, but it is helpful to ask yourself: Does this show something that affects my child’s safety, stability, well-being, or relationship with either parent?
Lupe Bailey, Office Manager:
One thing I wish every client knew before their case began is that no two family law cases are exactly alike. While our team can provide a general roadmap of what to expect and discuss estimated costs, many factors can influence how a case unfolds—including the complexity of the issues, the level of conflict between the parties, and whether matters can be resolved through negotiation or require court intervention. Understanding that your case may evolve helps set realistic expectations from the start. Our goal is to be transparent about the process, communicate with you every step of the way, and help you make informed decisions that keep your long-term goals in mind.
Family law is about protecting your future, not reliving your past. Trust your legal team. Communicate respectfully. Stay focused on your long-term goals. And remember—you do not have to go through this process alone.
When you choose Sodoma Law Raleigh, you are choosing a team that is committed to helping you navigate one of life’s most challenging chapters with experience, compassion, and dedication every step of the way.